A couple of months ago I heard that a relative (I still don't know who although I have narrowed down my list of suspects to a few) accused me of being a control freak. This was after Mark and I got frustrated by my mom - a frequent occurrence - and her absolute lack of planning and total jellyfish mentality and at the last minute wound up hosting her wedding reception at our house. I was actually pretty hurt by this. I am a really quiet, outwardly laid-back, and I hope thoughtful-appearing individual and I do really try to be kind and caring and understanding. I have been fretting over this name-calling for quite awhile and have come to the disturbing conclusion that it has a certain ring of truth to it. I DO like to be in control. I'm not a raving maniac about it and if you knew me casually you probably wouldn't get that vibe from me, but I don't like doing things where I don't know what's going to happen. I am an endless planner - I make lists, I map out routes, I hyperventilate. I read read read everything I can get my hands on before I enter into a new situation. I fear being out of control. I guess someone found me out!
Back to the matter at hand - August! It's crazy! For an anti-socialite I have a lot of social activities on my plate. Today our best friends are coming over for dinner. That would be a green on the anxi-o-meter. Maybe a yellow depending on how clean I can get the house and how my from-scratch biscuits turn out. :p On Saturday I have a photo shoot, I know the family and feel confident of my skills, but the location (a big hotel) has me nervous. That's a bright orange. Luckily Mark is going with me or I would be full-on code red! On Monday school starts (no big deal) but we are attending a 4-H meeting in the evening with a brand new group; not too terrible since we're familiar with 4-H. Next Friday we have the 4-H awards ceremony, also not too terrible for me since the kids are the ones who have to receive awards in front of a crowd (whew!) That Saturday we are supposed to have a yard sale; I'm good with those as long as no one haggles on a price! :eek: I'm also supposed to go shoot photos at a birthday party, I don't feel too bad about that but the lady won't get back with me on a time and that is really frustrating. Then the 17th we have a playdate with our old homeschool group - no pressure there - and on the 27th we have a kickoff party with the new homeschool group. I'm excited about that but a little nervous. And of course we're moving the last weekend in August.
My problem is I can't seem to focus on more than one thing at a time. I can only see what's right in front of me, and all of the other events are just so overwhelming in their duplicity that I can't process them. I'm pretty sure that disorder has a name! LOL Wish me luck!
Coral and I at my mom's wedding last October (I was 7 months pregnant with Hobie)
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