Wednesday, August 20, 2008

TS Fay, moving?!, and sleeping woes

We are on day 3 of the darned longest tropical storm I've ever seen! Rain bands from Fay started up on Monday, and lasted all of Tuesday with winds and showers. All day Wednesday as well because this baby likes to stick around. We're still getting rain and wind and it's Thursday! Craziness.

We are also expecting to move at the end of the month. That leaves us 11 days to organize, pack, clean, move, and arrange all the details like boxes, a moving truck, utilities, phone, cable, blah blah blah... We are really excited to be moving to a house with a HUGE stinkin yard, from a house with essentially 20 feet of weed patch and no access. I am really in the moving blues though. Not looking forward to the process, or the change of landlords, or (as much as I hate to admit it) leaving this little house behind. We've been here for almost 4 years and even though we really want out, at the same time it's been our home and safe haven and the thought of leaving it is really hard! Luckily we'll be in the same general area so we won't be looking at new stores and parks and stuff too, but I still have this half-swallowed lump in my throat and a nervous gurgling in my stomach!

I'm up at 12:08 am in part because I'm a night owl and I'm nervous about this move, and in part because Coral has decided she's not going to sleep until 11:30 every night. I've never seen such a young toddler in such protest of sleep! I'll finally get her to sleep because she'll pass out on the living room floor or in my arms. She refuses to nurse to sleep, and shakes her head vigorously no if I try to sign to her (can't blame her there!) She knows that warm milk and soft songs and a glider are sure to send her to dreamland, so she resists them with all her might and attitude. Finally Coral will lay on the floor and her eyes will roll back in her head and she'll be out for the night. I'll get her into bed around 11:45, and she'll wake sometime between 2 and 5 to nurse and be back out. Then she'll awaken around 7 for more nursing and if I'm lucky she'll go back to sleep until 9 or so. Then she's up for the day! I can barely get her to nap anymore. Two nights ago she fell asleep in her feeding chair at dinner! I picked her up and put her in her crib and she lasted 30 minutes and was raring to go until 11:30. Where does this baby find the energy? It's like she can't stand to miss a moment!

Friday, August 1, 2008

made a big mistake last night

I made the BIGGEST mistake last night and watched Hopkins - if you haven't heard of it it's a true-life show where they follow doctors and patients around Johns Hopkins hospital and watch what unfolds. I used to love shows like Trauma, Life in the ER and such, and especially the baby shows like Special Delivery. The more serious the situation the better. I haven't been able to watch one of those since Coral was born. I've seen some preemie situations on the fictional shows like House and stuff but nothing where you know you're looking at a real baby and real family.

Wouldn't you know on Hopkins last night there was a 30-week preemie just like Coral and the baby died :cry: He had lung issues and they knew in advance that he probably wouldn't make it but it was SO sad. The parents were all prepared for his birth and very matter-of-fact about how he probably wouldn't survive, but then he was born and the mom was saying, "I hear him cry!" and "Thank you Jesus!" and "My baby!" over and over again. They took the baby to the NICU and tried to save him but his lungs were too badly damaged and in just a short time they had to give up. I was bawling watching it.

I stayed up past midnight because I couldn't stop thinking about it. That sort of stuff just takes you right back. I can't imagine how I EVER liked watching that stuff. I'm crying now just thinking about it. I didn't let go of Coral for a long time last night - there's not a moment where I'm not grateful that she's here and healthy.