The trouble with large families!

I guess we're a large family - according to my favorite parenting website we qualify with 4 kids. You'd think the biggest problem we'd face would be too many mouths to feed, or not enough parents for all the kids, or a big fat mess all over the house. You'd think, talking to any of my extended family anyway, that having 4 kids was an insane mistake. I laugh about this frequently now - my mom, upon finding out I was pregnant with Coral (#3) told me, "That's fine, but whatever you do, stop there. Don't have a fourth child - it will ruin your life." Gee thanks mom, I AM your fourth child! Other than the dangerous physical aspects of my being pregnant again (I now have had a 30-weeker and an emergency c-section thanks to a placental abruption, and have a 25% recurrence rate of abruption in a future pregnancy), I really wouldn't mind having more kids. I think 6 would be a really great number.

You know what's the hardest part about having four kids? Trying to maintain friendships! When our oldest two were little, we had lots of friends. We met up all the time for playdates, and parties, and had such a wonderful, fun time hanging out together. I have all these great old photos of my kids at our house running around with a gaggle of other little 2-4 year old girls and boys, wreaking havoc and having the time of their little lives. And then you know what happened? All of those little kids grew up, and went off to school. Many of the moms went back to work or found other hobbies. We all drifted apart. Almost everyone called it quits after their first two children and then just....moved on.

It's hard when you have a large family, because the ages of your children span such a large range. My kids cover 9 years. Almost none of my friends who have kids in the same age bracket as my two oldest (8 and 10 later this year) have younger children. Conversely, I don't know anyone who has a three-year-old and an infant who also has kids who are school-aged. We've been both lucky and hampered by homeschooling in that we are typically welcome to bring younger siblings to events (where they are usually doted upon), but at the same time there isn't really much to offer the little ones that also welcomes older siblings.

Why is that? I've tried joining a few playgroups for little ones and they are SO snotty! They actually have age limits set by your child's birth year and if you don't fit, you don't attend. Other than in public school, who sets these crazy restrictions? It drives me crazy! WHY should it matter if a *gasp* seven-year-old attends a playdate for three-year-olds? What is it they think my child is going to do? How is it beneficial to limit social groups like this? I feel really excluded these days from the lives of all of our friends who only have 2 kids. Luckily I have one really great best friend who doesn't fit this mold and helps make it better!

from L to R : Kayla, Kenyen, Ibis, & Alexei, circa 2005

Day 4

Alexei, Grade 4

math p 24 & 26 : Ch 1 review and test

English p 40-41 : divide sentences into complete subject and complete predicate

social studies p 18-25, HP p 4-6 : US landforms (mountain, plateau, plain, coastal region)

reading : read book of choice for 15 minutes (Treasure Island);

Ibis, Grade 2

math, p A-H : butterfly addition story

writing practice p 8-13: discuss topic and ideas, write topic and ideas about a family photograph

reading p 48-50 : read "Reading with Your Fingers" and compare to Arthur's Reading Race

social studies p 18-23 : read about government and government services, write a thank you note to a government service provider (firemen)

reading : read book of choice for 15 minutes (Five Little Monkeys with Nothing to Do)

Ibis with her crosswalk sign (from Tuesday's lesson) and her thank you card for firemen

Coral, pre-K

color and glue Super A Apple

color objects that are orange and that are black

play with math manipulative cubes

listen to Five Little Monkeys with Nothing to Do

Is it criticism, or is it passion?

Do you ever stop to wonder? Sometimes I think we as moms feel like our every move is criticized; I think especially if you are a new mom or are trying out something new, it's easy to feel like the world is against you and your choices as a parent. In some cases I believe that's true : who doesn't have that aunt, or mother-in-law, or mother, or annoying older sister, who insists that everything they know about raising kids is the "right way" to do things and everything you think, say, or feel is automatically wrong? Most of us have felt those kinds of comments and know how crazy many of them are (for example, you weren't buckled into a car seat as an infant because they didn't have car seats back then, and your mother likes to point out how you kids all managed to survive childhood).

But what about other modern-age moms that you meet around town or on message boards? I read a lot about moms who feel attacked, and criticized, and there are certain topics that become almost taboo online. Unless you're in a specific forum you aren't really free to discuss breastfeeding, or co-sleeping, or vaccination choices, or delaying solids, or in some cases even cloth diapering or homeschooling. You risk letting it be known that you aren't a "mainstream" parent, and even worse, you feel like you're hurting the feelings of those who you are "against." But what if what you're hearing isn't meant to be criticism, but is simply passion and the voice of hard-earned experience?

I won't make it any secret that we are pretty far out of mainstream when it comes to parenting our children. We fall into the attachment parenting label pretty neatly; all of my kids have been breastfed past a year (or two), I babywear, we co-sleep, we don't let a baby cry it out, we make every attempt to discipline gently, we do try to teach respect by being respectful. On the "crunchy" front we have chosen not to vaccinate, and we recently started cloth diapering. We also delay solids and homeschool.

I have learned a LOT in the almost ten years I've been a mom. I started out young and fumbling, with a poor example in my own mom and doing the best I could to follow my baby's cues. At that time I was terrified to co-sleep and never even gave a passing thought to the safety of vaccines. Baby number two came along with a horrible case of five-months-nonstop screaming, and we survived only by keeping her in bed with us. Baby number three came along 10 weeks premature and we had to adapt to an entirely new set of rules. Because she would aspirate reflux and stop breathing, babywearing upright in a sling became essential. We were already familiar with the personal benefits of co-sleeping and breastfeeding, and so were even more committed to what had worked so well for us. When number four arrived, a refluxy, colicky, screamy thing with an immature digestive system who wanted (wants) nothing but to be with mommy 24/7, we were able to adapt pretty smoothly. Had he been our first, we would have been WRECKS.

I hope that if you ever feel as though your parenting choices are being picked on, or even attacked, that you'll consider that at least some of us moms are just trying to help. We're not judging, or demanding changes, or criticizing what you do. We've just been through enough in our ever-changing, ever-developing parenting experiences that we see others who are struggling or who seem lost, and we want to try to make it better. We're passionate about the discoveries that we have made through much trial and error along the way, and we have so many, "if I had only knowns" circulating in our brains that we want to share.

But that doesn't mean I'll ever be pleased to hear my mother say, "Back when you kids were little..." ;D

Day 3

Alexei, Grade 4

math, p 12-19 : comparing and sequencing numbers in the millions; 

English, p 38-39 : write and correct commanding and exclamatory sentences; 

science, p 10-17 : discuss the scientific process, journal entry about building plans and create a model building using straws, paper clips, and tape

reading : read book of choice for 15 minutes (Treasure Island);

Alexei's straw tower...wonder how it'll hold up after Monday's experiment?

Ibis, Grade 2

math, p G-I : review picture graphs, shapes, and ordinal numbers; 

reading : p 5-7 and read Arthur's Reading Race;

science, p 10-17 : discuss scientific tools, journal entry about predicting how many pennies fit on a ruler

Coral, Pre-K

color and glue Al the alligator craft

color objects that are yellow
listen to Arthur's Reading Race

help make and frost cupcakes

ready to bake cupcakes!

clearly the best part of any baking - licking the frosting beater!

intent on frosting

sprinkles!

pleased with her finished products

my artsy shot for you

8 months old today!

How can the baby be 8 months old?? Eight months ago he was still in my belly; I was in labor and not at all expecting the placental abruption and emergency c-section soon to follow. Who on earth has the fourth baby be the c-section baby? I can't believe that in four months Hobie will be celebrating his first birthday. Waaahhhh!!!

Let's see, at eight months he can army crawl with the best of them. He can get himself into the sitting position, and he has even pulled up a few times but I don't think he's anywhere near walking. None of my kids has walked before 14 months so I'm not expecting him to break the mold. Hobie has 6 teeth with 2 more just about to push through, and he is still 100% breastfed. He doesn't eat solids at all. He either gags, spits up, or gets horrific, up-all-night stomach cramps from everything solid I've tried so far. I still periodically go back to solids but for now, he's a boob man.

8 months old today!

Day 2

Alexei, Grade 4
math p 8-11 : number place value in the millions
English p 36-37 : complete and incomplete sentences
social studies p 10-17 and HP 1-3 : US placement on the globe

reading : read book of choice for 15 minutes;

Ibis, Grade 2

math, p D-F : review addition, subtraction, and patterns;

spelling practice p 3-5 : short vowels a and i
grammar practice p 1-4 : incomplete and complete sentences

social studies p 8-17 : discuss citizens, community, laws, and create a street sign
read Curious George Makes Pancakes by Margret Rey

Coral, pre-K

color and glue Alphabuddies' Angie A

color objects that are blue
read Try It, You'll Like It by Marc Brown
cut and glue paper mosaic

Coral working on her mosaic

proud of her mosaic rainbow

Week 1, Day 1

Often one of the biggest hurdles to beginner homeschoolers, or just those considering it, is how to set up a comprehensive lesson plan to keep a child on track and following state standards. It can be a daunting task and truly overwhelming! I wanted to share with you our daily activities, both to keep as a log for myself to look back upon, and to share ideas and encouragement with you. If you're new or on the fence, maybe this will give you that boost to get moving and know you can do this! If you're familiar with homeschooling maybe we can share ideas :)

Alexei, Grade 4

today's books: HSP Math, Houghton Mifflin English, Harcourt Science 2006, Mr. Blue by Margaret Embry

today's assignments: 

math, p 3-7 : learn about standard, written, & expanded forms of numbers; 

English, p 32-35 : write and correct complete and incomplete sentences; 

science, p 2-9 : discuss scientific tools used for measuring, journal entry about comparing object under naked eye and a magnifying glass

reading : read book of choice for 15 minutes;

4th grade math

science journaling

Ibis, Grade 2

today's books: HSP Math, Storytown Phonics Practice & Practice, Harcourt Science 2006, Curious George and the Pizza by Margret Rey

today's assignments: 

math, p A-C : review tally tables, picture graphs, and a hundreds chart; 

phonics, p 7-12 : short vowels a and i; 

reading practice, p 1-4: pages to prepare for Arthur's Reading Race;

reading : read book of choice for 15 minutes;

science, p 2-9 : coin prediction experiment, discuss scientific method, journal entry about comparing two coins

2nd grade math

2nd grade science experiment

Coral, Pre-K

today's books/printouts: Alphabuddies letter A template, Mead Preschool Workbook, How Many Fish? by Caron Lee Cohen

today's assignments:

color letter Aa printout

color objects that are red

pre-K reading selection

Art project for all grades:

use paint, markers, crayons, & stickers to decorate a name template

working on art projects